The sky's the limit

Forget sexism in football for a minute, something far more urgent caught my eye. A pilot was too drunk to fly a passenger plane. Apparently he was more than four times the legal alcohol limit for pilots. Now it's not actually the fact he was four times over(four times though, my God!) that bothers me it's the fact there is a "legal limit" in place at all. I don't recall ever hearing a pilot slur his words but there have been a few of them who on recollection I thought were trying their hand at comedy. Maybe they were a bit merry? Are some of them secretly swigging the minatures over the white cliffs of Dover? Are some helping themselves to the free flowing booze on long-haul somewhere over the Atlantic?
Passengers are often thrown off (not mid-air of course) for getting drunk on flights but the bloody pilot?
He was also over the legal driving limit. I wonder if he drove himself to the airport?
He's been jailed for 6 months by the way. I reckon a drunk driver would get less. When you think about it both are absolutely abhorrent and yet one is penalized more than the other. 

Speaking of sky & penalties I'll go back to the nonsense that occurred with Richard Keys and Andy Gray at the weekend. A recording was leaked of the two Sky Sports commentators making sexist remarks about a female linesman (er, lineswoman/person?)Oh she was the assistant referee wasn't she? Anyway sorry for being glib but I just laughed when I heard the pair of daft tits (or for the purposes of this perhaps testicles would be more fitting). It just embarrassed them and showed them up being misogynistic at work. What woman hasn't encountered that? Their work just happens to be a male dominated sport that doesn't usually have women on the pitch. It was only a matter of time of course but I can imagine there were hundreds of men watching Liverpool v Wolves saying exactly the same thing. No it is not acceptable but it goes on every single day for so many. Mostly behind closed doors or in the pub (ha ha I am now stereotyping gentlemen to be drinkers).
Lest we forget women are sexist too. 
I recall a girl at a place I worked once pinching the behind of our (very handsome) post guy and he reported her. I wanted to shake his hand. The majority of people couldn't believe he had taken it to that stage but why shouldn't he? We encourage women to do that don't we? It's a two way street. Both sexes objectify (just switch on ITV at 12.30 weekdays to see women do rather a lot of it) but men seem to take the heat for it more. I don't think I would have sacked them. An apology and then community service of washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning...  I jest of course, what I'd really like to know is who is drawing the line and indeed, where is it?
Is is not acceptable depending on your status/celebrity? (P.M, TV personality etc.)
Is it accpetable to think it but not say it out loud?
Is it ok to say it out loud but but not overheard?
Is it ok to be overheard as long as you're not recorded?
Who is leaking these "private" conversations?
Given the stuff I say "off the record" it makes me want to turn to elective mutism. A lot of people would welcome that.

30 days to go until I move. I'm so excited.I went to Ikea with Tracy last week and bought new bedding, crockery, cutlery and glasses for my new place. It's quite strange buying stuff that I used to have. It's like every time I do I start a new chapter so it's quite therapeutic even if expensive.
We spent ages sitting at tables and trying out chairs. Looked at shelves too but realised as I lay awake last night that there isn't room to actually build these flat pack things once I get them in! Picked a sofa bed so people can stay. Not sure it will open out though as it really is a small place. On my way to Tracy's I went down a certain road and saw 3 interesting shop names all in the space of two blocks.
The bravely named Sweat Shop was as you may expect selling fitness attire not full of under paid or under aged workers.
Chompoo Thai restaurant proprietors obviously hadn't bothered to look into the meaning of their name to English speakers. It's certainly not selling the idea of eating there to me!
Finally the Master Chef cafe that looked anything but. Roux Jr. probably (most definitely didn't) ever start his career there.
(Apologies to any of these places that may discover I have ridiculed them).

Time to mention Bikram Yoga. I went tonight (my 14th out of 23) after work and it was my favourite class so far. The heater was fixed last week so the heat has become unbearable the past few days. Yesterday for example when I was upside down I saw the woman behind me (now sort of in front of me) was wearing a 'watch' with the temperature clearly showing a dizzy, panic inducing 111 degrees. I was so close to giving up. I wanted to run to the windows and make a break for it. Tonight was great though. There had been no class since 10.15 so the room hadn't had chance to fire up quite the same.
The characters there are still disctracting me for various reasons. I had the misfortune to be next to a proper panter, grunter snot beast last week. He was grossing me out. I made a mental note to avoid him in future. Someone's toes touched my mat in one class and I yanked it away as quickly as possible. Not very serene I know but ugh! There is one woman who is in a lot of my classes no matter when I go. She turns up in full workout clothes, always stands at the back of the room in the same spot and peels off a layer every so often. First the sweat pants come off (such an apt name), then the zipped long-sleeved top, then the shorts that I saw her wring out over herself (I know that's disgusting right?) which leaves her working out in a low cut swimsuit. The girl needs a wax that's all I'm saying.
There's a notice saying if you're lucky enough to sweat a lot and detoxify, please use 2 or 3 mats so the carpet doesn't get damaged. This woman is doing yoga in a puddle people. A puddle of her own sweat on her own mat. Her own very thin, single mat. Not 2 or 3. That wouldn't be enough anyway. The thing is she also decides to ignore the teacher and goes at her own pace so when we've all done our sit up with exhales as one unit, she's not even started so you hear her seconds later. I am still practicing yoga with a poker face but things like that upset my equilibrium and poker face is exactly what I want to do to her (sic)...

The Joys of Teen Sex... er am I getting old or does my prudish know no bounds? What in God's name is going on? There was no such thing on TV when I was a teenager it was a case of learning on the job as it were. I saw the trailers for it and decided that as I am not a teenager, I do not have teenagers and don't have sex with teenagers (well... that's another story for another blog) there's nothing in that show for me. But one could argue that I am not a fat gypsy, haven't got any fat gyspy friends and won't be attending a fat gypsy wedding anytime soon but I still saw the most frightening 5 minutes of television when accidentally stumbling upon that show this week.
My Holy Communion dress was much more conservative that the frock shocks these girls were wearing. It wasn't just the horrfic outfits that had me jaw dropped but the insane confidence of these children coupled with the most provocative dancing since Rihanna & Christina's X-rated X Factor appearances. These kids were gyrating and doing a squat thrust move that wouldn't have looked out of place on the Joys of Teen Sex quite frankly.

The 10 o' Clock show was better than the critics said in my opinion. I don't think it's the greatest idea for a news show and think it will struggle in longevity. My favourite bit was an interview with Bjorn Lomborg conducted by Jimmy Carr. He said "you put the mental in environmentalist" to which Bjorn replied that no he actually "put the sensible in environmentalist". In closing he addressed the audience with another over the head remark: "I'm sure we all agree we'd love to see Bjorn again. Ha!

Enjoyed The Social Network but (don't hate me) I really didn't like Black Swan at all. Saw another film I can't dicsuss but when I can, I will (along with the other one I mentioned a few weeks back). Other than that I have had a busy week writing more on my script and am fired up about book ideas that have been coming. Let's hope more people read it than this eh?

Finally some light relief... this is doing the rounds so you may already have seen it. Go to Google Maps and "get directions" from USA to China. Check out point 31. I'm thinking of doing it - beats taking a plane...