Miss May

I took off my clothes and lay waiting for him. His hands were warm. He asked if it was hard enough, I replied I'd like it harder. He said that he usually used his elbows... whoa! You haven't stumbled upon some kind of soft porn fiction or any intimate diary by mistake. This was my first encounter of a male masseur. I wasn't even asked if it was ok. It was more than ok though, he was great. Hailing from Tibet he slipped me his card (what did you think I was going to say?) as I left so I could book him privately. Oh come on, stop with the filth you lot!


The word massage comes from the French word meaning "friction of kneading" which is something I did earlier. With dough. I tried to make fresh ravioli but had a couple of disasters. I don't know why I changed my mind at the last moment but I did. I went for a different recipe and a different technique. It was a total flop. My food processor is knackered courtesy of James Redmond and Paul Foot breaking it on Celebrity Come Dine With Me. I then decided to use my blender (totally different and stupid idea). I ditched that for a good old fashioned bowl although I wish I'd done the entire thing on the worktop. Hey ho, it didn't quite look right so I made just one little parcel filled with ricotta and spinach. It wasn't as bad as it looked but I think I need to try again another day.


How did I miss blogging for the whole month of May? I have no idea but I must have been busy. There was Easter weekend which didn't quite go as planned due to something someone out of my control. Miss May was referring to that by the way, not one Imogen Thomas. May I comment? (Excuse that bad pun, I assure you it was accidental). I think I am allowed to. What did she expect getting involved with a married man? I'm afraid I have no sympathy as that's saved for his family. Actually 'him' who can be named (I hope) is Ryan Giggs and today more allegations came out. I know that people cheat and it's a common fact of life but if someone pressed pause on your life just before the lustful deed and fast forwarded to the end, consequences and all I wonder how many people just wouldn't bother? 

May has gone, it's June so half way through the year feels as good a time as any to see how my New Year list is going.

Stop smoking. Still not had one. Not missing it all but... Since giving up smoking I seem to have piled on the pounds and because I like a tipple, it's just not shifting.
Keep a food diary. Oops, every so often I do but not enough.
Drink between 1-2 litres of water /day and keep skin hydrated. Nope. I am rubbish at this. I have no excuses. None.
Reduce alcohol intake. I do actively have days where I will make sure I don't drink any booze but there have been so many social gatherings it's been hard.
Up the fruit & veg intake. Not much. 
Take a digestive enzyme. I ran out of them. I can't afford luxuries!
Meditate once/twice a week. Erm, next!
Attempt to improve sleep and change patterns. Ah well apart from crazy 3/4 a.m nights the sleep has improved. Patterns not so much. I'm finding it hard to adjust to being awoken at 4.30 every morning (birds are noisy little blighters). 
Get out in the fresh air every day. Almost every day I do go out and have been walking a LOT. Mind you I do have a balcony so technically it's not hard for me to get out in the fresh air at any given moment.
Be more exposed to daylight - stop being a vampire! I have no choice to be frank. I do wear my eye mask in the early hours but this flat is very light & bright.
Exfoliate once a week. This isn't going well is it? Every other week? Maybe.
Improve posture. Oh dear. I try when I remember. I forget a lot.
Massage/treatment every 6 weeks. Oooh now I have probably done better on averages here. I have had 3 in 6 weeks. Phew, at least something is going well.
Hair cut every 3 months. Ha ha ha! I had my haircut on Thursday. That was first time since 11th February.
Budget wisely and make sure that I am debt free by December 31st 2011. I am budgeting but again, not by choice. I am broke. There's never anything left at the end of the month and it's the first time in about 9 years I have been in this situation. I HATE it. So what am I doing about it? I'll tell you next time!

Maybe I should print the list and stick it up somewhere I can see it?!? 

I pushed my nerves to try something very new. I attended a voice over workshop and have to say that I didn't mind the playback half as much as the recording. I've been in vocal booths before but there's something about performing that does make me very nervous. There were only 3 people listening to me but it made me self-conscious. It was a great adrenalin kick and apparently I wasn't bad.


I'm finding training difficult in terms of trying to get fit. I am still very much struggling with uphill walking/running too. Jogging feels so unnatural to me but I'm trying to raise my stamina and levels of fitness. I'm not dreading the trek just yet though as I still have over 3 months training to go. Oooh speaking of:






As usual I have spent quality time with many good friends having a ball but I have to say that one particular highlight was going to see my boys perform at the Forum for family & friends. I haven't seen Coldplay in that venue since 1999 and to see them back there again with 4 albums under their belt about to embark on the festival circuit was a treat. Reports back from the first 2 nights are incredible and I can't wait to see them on a big stage in a field somewhere soon.


There have been birthdays, a marriage, the end of a friendship, new friends made, a visit to see the family, a birth and sadly a death. 


Hopefully the next time I write there'll be no bad news and I'll be a few pounds lighter, but not in my wallet!
x


Here's the latest instalment of ad watch:
I don't care much for what's going on at 31 Bywell Avenue quite frankly. Why is Danielle covering her bits? More worryingly why is the lady in senior years commenting on her being tidy? I doubt she knows that much about grooming nether regions. Silly.


Which is a word I would also use to describe whoever thought that Suremen is a good brand name for a male deodorant. Condoms maybe given it looks like it's called semen. What? Oh come on, I set the tone right from the start. Blame the hot weather.


Last on the list is a local and I feel I must apologise as I have met him and he's lovely but by 'eck Vernon's Mum is a much better actor than him.  


As summer is almost here maybe next time I will have a perfume ad special featuring hot men I fancy. Perfume ads are just so sexy. Taking off their clothes as they lie waiting... Oh we did that already didn't we?