You're so vain...

... you probably think this blog is about you. Well it isn't, it's about me, myself and I.

I don't think I have ever done so much in such a small space of time. I don't want to bore anyone with my tales but some of the highlights are worth sharing and may I start by saying I am SO lucky.

In chronological order, my own vanity begins.

Had my first visit to the wonderful BAFTA to see what was billed as a "Masterclass: Writing for comedy with Miranda Hart". It was more an interview to be honest but all my questions were answered and I got the motivation I was looking for.

I went to Venice on a day trip to see Coldplay perform at the Heineken Jammin Festival and as I was sat on the "wrong" side of the plane, my view as we came into land wasn't the picturesque Venice that I have been lucky enough to visit twice before but a more industrial scene. Turns out me & Jonny got a good view of the festival site and my photo of it wound up on the live blog for their official website. 

It was great seeing everyone again, some of whom I hadn't seen since the Latin American tour. I watched the show from the sound desk with a glass of Italian red and sang my head off. 

I made myself useful too by collecting the hard-drive for Roadie #42 at the end of the set. It was an amazing night and the weather stayed fair for us despite the previous downpours threatening a wet one. On the way home we supped Champagne to celebrate Vicki's birthday and crawled to bed in the small hours.

I did acapella Karaoke with Est & Nic at Vicki's party the night after, once everyone had left. Sang Dolly Parton's 9-5 at the top of our lungs. Got to bed at 3 again. I don't know how I made it through the next day or the following night at another birthday that saw me get to bed at a rather disgraceful 8 in the morning. 

A ditched "Dance like Britney" class means the only training for trek / exercise has been a few trips to a local circuit training centre for ladies who were impressed with hula hooping skills - and one walk around Hampstead Heath with fellow trekkers. Got a walking trip to Dorset coming up. I'm not walking there, but walking when I get there.

I met with my publisher for dinner and that turned into drinks and laughs after going through new ideas that I promised to have sample excerpts of in his inbox before noon the day after.(Celeb spot - the very cool Rich Hall.

I managed to get the work done before hopping on a train to Bristol to see the Halo reunion gig at The Fleece. It was so bizarre being there for the first time in probably ten years. It was so great to hang out with the boys and I managed another 3 a.m night. 

You know when you regret not whipping out the camera for a YouTube moment, well I had one of mammoth proportions. While we waiting to go to an after hours club night, I saw two drunken male friends (of each other, not of mine) who could barely stand. One dropped his trousers and bent over slapping his own arse, not a pretty sight I can tell you, while his friend filmed it on his phone. Two police officers walked by and turned a blind eye. The bare cheeked one waddled after them with his trousers round his ankles before giving up as they walked on oblivious.

I went on a date. Yes, a real one. It was quite good but first impressions aren't always that spot on. He turned out to be a complete **** so won't be seeing him again.

I went to one of my cultural foreign film visits & saw 17 Girls, a film based on real life goings on in Massachusetts where girls made a pact to become pregnant at the same time when one fell pregnant. I didn't enjoy the film or the subject matter but a documentary about the real girls would be of interest. That probably won't happen given their identities are protected because of their young ages. Crikey, I cannot imagine that happening at my school even though two of my friends did have their first child during what would have been term time had they stayed. If there'd been a meeting suggesting any such thing, I'd have been as immovable as I would be now.

Blog interlude: Blackadder.
If we had to compare subsequent careers of Rowan Atkinson, Tony Robinson, Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry, who would we say has had the better path? If I just take one thing for each:
Rowan - Mr. Bean
Tony - Time Team
Hugh - House
Stephen - QI
I'm loving Stephen the best I reckon.


Back to blog:

I decided to skip Glastonbury for reasons I'll keep to myself and as soon as Coldplay took to the stage I immediately regretted the decision and made a promise to myself to never let the reason be the reason again. I sat and drank cider whilst watching and had lots of texts from people as well as my mate Stephen to keep me company. In fact, Stephen decided that the following day we should do something to almost make up for it. We wandered to the Secret Garden (shhhh) and then on to 100 Club for an intimate Alice Cooper show. Special guest was 

Jonny Depp on guitar which caused quite a stir. The aftershow was quite possibly the most sophisticated, decadent aftershow I have ever been to. The food and drink at the W hotel was sublime. A great night out and had a natter with Alice at the end of the night who proved to be an interesting witty fella.

I had a little jaunt to Dublin to see Gina, my oldest friend (as in known the longest, not in age). It's never long enough. I always feel emotional when I leave her. Soft git that I am but she's like a sister to me. I have 2 friends that I wouldn't be surprised if I was to learn we're related and Gina is one of them. Given my known feelings on not wanting my own children, it's always a pleasure to spend time with hers. 

There was a Take That at Wembley show but my experience was that disastrous I'd really rather never mention it again as long as I live! The highlight was having my sis-in-law and her sis staying with me. Thankfully they had a great time.

Once more a friend rescued me the following day to make up for it. I went to fulfil an ambition of 25 years; I saw Grace Jones live. It was so incredible even though I had been abusing the free bar all afternoon but wow, what a lady. Kudos to Sam whom I watched with - a new friend was made. Pulp headlined and all in all a great day was had with a visit to the Met bar to round of the evening. 

T in the Park was something I had been looking forward to. The first night in Glasgow was great, tipsy and let loose in a casino. Watching of course, not gambling. It marked the first night out in what was to become almost 15 on the trot. I have to say that from the second I turned up at T's box office and they gave me the wrong pass, I should have known then how the weekend would go. Beyonce was great fun but the promoters, the jobsworths and the security destroyed my Coldplay experience. So much for skipping Glasto for THAT! Sunday's weather did little to pick me up although seeing Hurts live made me extremely happy. 

The following nights were out meeting friends, drinks, cinema visits (including Bridesmaids and Harry Potter 7 pt ii), parties, comedy, curry and a free treat to We Will Rock You which was fantastic! The last night out for a while culminated in the show that was to make up for Glasto & T; Coldplay at The Roundhouse as part of the iTunes festival. An incredible performance in what seems such an intimate venue these days. Got to hang out with lots of wonderful friends too that night and I really did feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Saturday was a casual day meeting my much missed friend Jake for a late lunch in Camden. Round about the time we left the restaurant, unbeknownst to us at that time, an emergency call was being made from Amy Winehouse's home also in Camden. 
I was on the phone with Vicki when the text came through. I felt sick and prayed it was a hoax. Still on the phone I googled and it confirmed what I suppose I had dreaded years ago. I posted a video online 5 weeks ago criticising the fact she'd been allowed anywhere near a stage. News of her death had a profound effect on me. It took me by surprise. The sadness was overwhelming and although I didn't know her, I knew people that did. I have been a fan for 8 years and bought both albums and was lucky enough to see her live twice. The damning negative toxic spew that has been said since her death makes me very angry as we don't have a clue what's been going on in more recent times. I had hoped people would have more compassion. It's not because she was famous that I care, it is because she was young, talented and very ill. I have heard many people claim that drugs killed her. I say that ultimately her addictions probably did. I think we should all look out for the people we know who suffer at the hands of any addictions or mental health issues. If anyone thinks that drugs are glamourised in the music industry, go and watch YouTube clips of Amy surrounded by anything but glamour...

Thankfully I had a great fun day out yesterday that will lift the sombre mood. My friend Tracy is completing a list of 40 things to do in a year of turning 40. Yesterday she, I & Jude went to Hampton Court's maze and Thorpe Park to tick off, er, 'do the maze at Hampton Court' and 'ride a giant rollercoaster'. I agreed to go cos I fancied the maze bit (bit disappointing to be honest). We all started at the same point and agreed to meet in the centre. It wasn't that big so didn't take long but it wasn't as easy as I had hoped so I got there last!

I was happy to accompany Tracy to the theme park but didn't agree to riding the ride. Stupidly a few nights before I texted to say that I was coming round to the idea that I may actually go on one. BIG mistake. I was held to it and yesterday after bailing out of one queue as the fear had turned to palpable levels, I found myself in the queue for Nemesis Inferno!

I loved it! We then went on a rollercoaster in the dark that went backwards and Tidal Wave - it's not called that for nothing. There wasn't a millimeter of me that wasn't drenched. Super fun! Thank goodness we had the most amazing weather.

There was a sign as we queued that said "You will get very wet on this ride". It wasn't lying. We finished off with a ride called Zodiac that was like what I expect getting into a tumble dryer is like. Handy given how wet were were but by 'eck it was fast and pretty dizzy inducing. It was a brilliant day out but if you fancy it, do take advantage of 2 for 1 tickets as it's £40 each and we only got there at 3.30!

I was going to moan about Matthew Wright's obscene treatment of a 33 year old cancer sufferer on his show but you know what? He's not worth it.

Now for some big news and I may need you to help me out on this one. As you know, I am trekking up Mount Kenya and have been raising money for Trekstock. The amount is still growing but I am looking to raise more. I have decided to do something daft. If you could follow this link to eBay and watch the video, I would appreciate either bids or a tweet / email of the link to as many people as you can send it to.
I won't spoil the surprise so you can benefit from laughing AT me but any help at all in getting this viral asap would be amazing!

Finally to ad watch:
Lots of people love the Birds Eye polar bear but did you know that it was this amazing actor?

A favourite amongst many is the Old Spice, definitely cooler than I remember but has the smell changed? If not, I doubt even the dude on the horse can save it.

I wanted to mention a few ads that 'borrow' familiar tunes to advertise with soundalike tunes. Currently doing the rounds are a Coldplay, an Elbow and a Rihanna. They seem to be mostly insurance companies so good enough reason not to link to them. They're not subtle enough to not notice but I guess I am nepotistic when it comes to Coldplay. 
But then, I did say something about vanity at the start of this blog. 
If the cap fits...