Ah my poor brother, he made the pilgrimage to Wembley yesterday along with many other Bolton fans to watch a pitiful, disgraceful, embarrassing defeat to Stoke. Not just a near miss either, a 5-0 whipping. The whites couldn't even get one past in memory of Nat.
I expected a Bolton vs. Manchester final... The previous day the Manchester derby saw the blues take on the mighty reds and win.
What is the darned difference between the names given to trousers that are not full length? I remember being about 10 years old and having a pair of black taffeta knickerbockers. When I was about 12 I had a pair of green pedal pushers (with matching top). When I was 17 I got a pair of black capri pants. Last year I sported some cropped jeans.
I pondered this very conundrum on my hour bus journey home at 1 a.m on my way back from All Star Lanes where I ate, drank, sang and bowled at my primary school friend Sally's 50s themed hen do.
What's the point in bus countdowns that lie? I was on my way to another 50s themed event - Million Dollar Quartet (thanks Ben!) - the night before. Waiting for the 214, the countdown was at 6 mins. When it read "due" the C2 was next in line at 4 mins with the following 214 being next at 18 mins. Hang on though, 18 minutes? How can that possibly be when they're supposed to run every 6-8 minutes and I was only 2 stops from the very first stop? While standing perplexed at that, I noticed the due 214 disappeared from the countdown and didn't show up! I could have and should walked.
Speaking of, the trek training is going ok but only in the urban sense of walking from A-B (apart from the above bus journey) I've been fast walking everywhere - in my trainers. I'm not happy about the fashion as it's not going to help in the pulling stakes but I guess fast walking in normal footwear makes me look impatient or weird. The donations have been coming in and I am so grateful for every penny. A special mention to my lovely friends who generously bumped the total up to an astounding amount!
There's a lot of crime about. I was victim of a crime the other week in fact. Well ok, I wasn't but the robbing donkeys! Well, not exactly rob. Basically one of the horses I backed won the Grand National - yay! I also had an each way bet on the 5th place. The bookies wouldn't pay out on that though because it was placed using a free bet. Hmmm, so they gave me a free bet just for fun?
I was witness to a double crime the other day. A man in a white van was driving whilst on his mobile phone and smoking. The smoking bit is illegal because he was in his place of work (stupid law) though to be fair, smoking whilst driving should be banned. I can say that as an ex-smoker of course but I confess I had a couple of incidents which could have involved an accident; dropping a lit cigarette being one.
Ooh just to interject, I saw smoke coming out of a closed down shop today which had its shutters down. People were stood outside staring at it and talking about it. Someone called the fire brigade and alerted the people either side and above in offices but nobody moved away. It was only when I pointed out the shop used to sell helium balloons and may still have canisters that could explode at any minute that anyone moved an inch back. One guy even tried to open the METAL shutter.
I have yet to find out what happened but sure it'll be on YouTube as some folk were filming.
Back to crime busting... so the woman in the car in front of the man in a van was driving (child in passenger seat) whilst writing. Not just a wee scribble of a note either. The traffic was slow moving but she had an A4 pad on her lap, no hands on the wheel and managed to write half a page whilst slowly edging forwards.
I love the bus for witnessing strange goings on. Like the woman driving the wrong way down the pavement and getting her car stuck at the bollards. Like the man who announced to the driver that even as a trained acrobat he wasn't able to withstand the jolty driving ending with him getting violent, threatening passengers, drivers and bus. The bus won).
I had the pleasure of attending the MAK gig at the beautiful Union Chapel. Both Badly Drawn Boy and The Travelling Band were great. The night didn't end; got home at 7 a.m with many highlights to keep me company but need to share this - thanks to Phil at Gerry's for that gem.
I have become addicted to TV. It's not good, I had done without it for so long and now I am hooked in. It's a great source of material for anyone wanting to rant though. Ahem.
I could not give one **** what Katie did next or what the next chapter is for Peter and Kerry - who seem to have the same named reality shows - or the Essex way or see that smug James Brown (not, that James Brown) try and find a great hairdresser...
But I did sit glued to Eastenders' climax of the baby swap story. I stayed at The Hotel a few years ago so had to watch that too.
Speaking of hotels, why is The Hotel Inspector on Channel 5 sponsored by Playtex? I know Alex Polizzi has large breasts but what a strange choice. I wonder if she gets free bras?
I have noticed whilst channel hopping there is a plethora of +1 channels available but strangely no Channel Five +1. (Whoever said that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit is a liar by the way).
Coldplay very kindly retweeted my twitter experiment. I posted asking if people fancied sponsoring me £1. I thought if 50 people donated, that would raise £50 (duh) and through their tweet I actually got 6 donations but they totalled £110. Result!
If anyone wants to join the £1 challenge, I'd be eternally grateful if you'd like to donate here. Except my brother who knows I hold him to a blackmail.
Second installment of ad watch:
I love the new IKEA advert. No need to explain.
The other ad that has caught my attention is rather a sensitive one. I mean, who wants to see a commercial for trimming lady gardens? If it isn't bad enough they end it with "...whatever your style. Free your skin." Ridiculous.
Short back and sides anyone?
Did you know that isit is a word? Is it? Yes it is. And it sort of means exactly what it sounds like it should mean. If you've been listening, now would be a good time to say it.
Isit.
