Red, Whites and Blue

Ah I am feeling quite relaxed this evening thanks to Anila at The Retreat for one of the best massages I've had in a long time and a lush facial. I was already loving this week because it's the start of 4 days on, 4 days off, 4 days on, 4 days off due to blissful Easter, Bank Holiday and the Royal Wedding. Did you know (if you didn't can you believe) that you can knit your own royal wedding?

Ah my poor brother, he made the pilgrimage to Wembley yesterday along with many other Bolton fans to watch a pitiful, disgraceful, embarrassing defeat to Stoke. Not just a near miss either, a 5-0 whipping. The whites couldn't even get one past in memory of Nat. 

I expected a Bolton vs. Manchester final... The previous day the Manchester derby saw the blues take on the mighty reds and win.

What is the darned difference between the names given to trousers that are not full length? I remember being about 10 years old and having a pair of black taffeta knickerbockers. When I was about 12 I had a pair of green pedal pushers (with matching top). When I was 17 I got a pair of black capri pants. Last year I sported some cropped jeans. 
I pondered this very conundrum on my hour bus journey home at 1 a.m on my way back from All Star Lanes where I ate, drank, sang and bowled at my primary school friend Sally's 50s themed hen do. 

I was dressed in the exact black capri pants that I got when I was 17. And no, before you ask, that was not back in the 50s.


What's the point in bus countdowns that lie? I was on my way to another 50s themed event - Million Dollar Quartet (thanks Ben!) - the night before. Waiting for the 214, the countdown was at 6 mins. When it read "due" the C2 was next in line at 4 mins with the following 214 being next at 18 mins. Hang on though, 18 minutes? How can that possibly be when they're supposed to run every 6-8 minutes and I was only 2 stops from the very first stop? While standing perplexed at that, I noticed the due 214 disappeared from the countdown and didn't show up! I could have and should walked.


Speaking of, the trek training is going ok but only in the urban sense of walking from A-B (apart from the above bus journey) I've been fast walking everywhere - in my trainers. I'm not happy about the fashion as it's not going to help in the pulling stakes but I guess fast walking in normal footwear makes me look impatient or weird. The donations have been coming in and I am so grateful for every penny. A special mention to my lovely friends who generously bumped the total up to an astounding amount!



There's a lot of crime about. I was victim of a crime the other week in fact. Well ok, I wasn't but the robbing donkeys! Well, not exactly rob. Basically one of the horses I backed won the Grand National - yay! I also had an each way bet on the 5th place. The bookies wouldn't pay out on that though because it was placed using a free bet. Hmmm, so they gave me a free bet just for fun? 
I was witness to a double crime the other day. A man in a white van was driving whilst on his mobile phone and smoking. The smoking bit is illegal because he was in his place of work (stupid law) though to be fair, smoking whilst driving should be banned. I can say that as an ex-smoker of course but I confess I had a couple of incidents which could have involved an accident; dropping a lit cigarette being one.


Ooh just to interject, I saw smoke coming out of a closed down shop today which had its shutters down. People were stood outside staring at it and talking about it. Someone called the fire brigade and alerted the people either side and above in offices but nobody moved away. It was only when I pointed out the shop used to sell helium balloons and may still have canisters that could explode at any minute that anyone moved an inch back. One guy even tried to open the METAL shutter. 
I have yet to find out what happened but sure it'll be on YouTube as some folk were filming.


Back to crime busting... so the woman in the car in front of the man in a van was driving (child in passenger seat) whilst writing. Not just a wee scribble of a note either. The traffic was slow moving but she had an A4 pad on her lap, no hands on the wheel and managed to write half a page whilst slowly edging forwards. 


I love the bus for witnessing strange goings on. Like the woman driving the wrong way down the pavement and getting her car stuck at the bollards. Like the man who announced to the driver that even as a trained acrobat he wasn't able to withstand the jolty driving ending with him getting violent, threatening passengers, drivers and bus. The bus won). 


I had the pleasure of attending the MAK gig at the beautiful Union Chapel. Both Badly Drawn Boy and The Travelling Band were great. The night didn't end; got home at 7 a.m with many highlights to keep me company but need to share this - thanks to Phil at Gerry's for that gem.


I have become addicted to TV. It's not good, I had done without it for so long and now I am hooked in. It's a great source of material for anyone wanting to rant though. Ahem.
I could not give one **** what Katie did next or what the next chapter is for Peter and Kerry - who seem to have the same named reality shows - or the Essex way or see that smug James Brown (not, that James Brown) try and find a great hairdresser...
But I did sit glued to Eastenders' climax of the baby swap story. I stayed at The Hotel a few years ago so had to watch that too. 


Speaking of hotels, why is The Hotel Inspector on Channel 5 sponsored by Playtex? I know Alex Polizzi has large breasts but what a strange choice. I wonder if she gets free bras?


I have noticed whilst channel hopping there is a plethora of +1 channels available but strangely no Channel Five +1. (Whoever said that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit is a liar by the way).


Coldplay very kindly retweeted my twitter experiment. I posted asking if people fancied sponsoring me £1. I thought if 50 people donated, that would raise £50 (duh) and through their tweet I actually got 6 donations but they totalled £110. Result!
If anyone wants to join the £1 challenge, I'd be eternally grateful if you'd like to donate here. Except my brother who knows I hold him to a blackmail.


Second installment of ad watch:


I love the new IKEA advert. No need to explain.


The other ad that has caught my attention is rather a sensitive one. I mean, who wants to see a commercial for trimming lady gardens? If it isn't bad enough they end it with "...whatever your style. Free your skin." Ridiculous.
Short back and sides anyone?  


Did you know that isit is a word? Is it? Yes it is. And it sort of means exactly what it sounds like it should mean. If you've been listening, now would be a good time to say it.
Isit.

Ketchup Catsup

Are you feeling fonder of me now? That was quite an absence.
Before anyone gets worried when they read this, don't.
I took February off because it's full of feelings I can't shake and this year it started with a brand new pain so I ducked out. It would be remiss of me not to mention its stand out moment though. I moved home and I have to say I have never been happier since I did. It's the first time in my life I have chosen to live alone and I'm loving it. February can get stuffed and I shall embrace the next one.


So, what's new? Probably best to skim over the lost time or I'll be here all night. Shall we start with where I am in relation to the wellbeing 2011 plan?
I still haven't had a cigarette. It's strange I didn't even think of having one when February smacked me in the face (ok, so I'll leave February alone now. It's not like the actual month is to blame and it's such a harmless short arse of a month).
The Bikram was sabotaged because of some sinus shenanigans. 8 weeks later I still have those problems; maybe the Bikram environment itself is to blame?
I did complete gym membership and managed to squeeze a few visits in despite sinuses. The food diary hasn't been in full effect but I've been baking & cooking which means I've been more aware of what's in my meals I suppose. I'd forgotten how much I loved cooking but deffo need to improve my culinary skills.
More exposure to daylight comes courtesy of the new flat and due to the harshness of daybreak into my bedroom at an ungodly hour, I have been getting to bed a little earlier too. I swear I am a vampire. It's like being blinded by light every morning but I am getting used to it. Also getting used to the freakish foxes and their mating season. Jeez they're noisy blighters. So are the gang of crows. I didn't make a mistake in calling them a gang either as I'm pretty sure they're waiting there at stupid o' clock to beat up on some poor defenceless bird - other than me.
Been walking a lot - two and half hours yesterday alone. Actually I jogged some of it. Ha that sounded smug didn't it? That's because even I am impressed!!
I'm achieving quite a lot on the list but cutting back on booze and drinking more water are high on my April onwards agenda.


It may be helped by the fact I've signed up to climb a mountain in September for the charity Trekstock which is no walk in the park. Well, it is. Mount Kenya National Park to be exact. It's an amazing charity and I have been supporting them for a while now but I decided it was time for a challenge. 


In other news I am delighted to announce the arrival of my 4.7lb bundle of joy. No, you didn't miss something, I took ownership of a new MacBook. I am quite giddy with it.


I'm so lucky right now because despite being held to a tight budget from tomorrow, I do many great free things. I've started going to film screenings at the Everyman cinema in Hampstead with Q&As with directors as well as attending my first Literary Salon which I thoroughly enjoyed. The next one was even better because Helen Fielding was there reading from her initial notes of Bridget Jones 3 and told us what was going to happen. It was all rather exciting as we sat making audible gasps whilst sipping our G&Ts courtesy of Hendrick's. 
Even walking around my local area is a delight. The views I have over London are pretty amazing. From the top of my street I can see the dome of St. Pauls, The London Eye, O2, Battersea power station... spectacular.
I've managed to book a few things in before the purse strings tighten including massages, trip up North to see the family, trip to Em's wedding, and a non-realted hen do. I won't be missing out that's for sure though the aim is to write, write and write some more. I began editing novel notes last week so am entering a new phase of motivation. ITV 4 running the Rocky series reminded me to perhaps start every day with Rocky's theme because if that doesn't get me going, I don't know what will.


James A treated me to Priscilla which was camptastic! I haven't seen the film but that didn't matter. All the songs were contemporary pop songs and we had a ball.
Tracy & I went to see Chicago which was rather disappointing due to members of the audience having no theatre etiquette whatsoever. It didn't have the greatest vocal performances ever but no matter, we enjoyed ourselves with the help of quantities of fizz and a love of the songs. 


Speaking of disappointments, Secret Cinema lost their touch on their last outing in my opinion (we got stuck with Valentine's Night too which wasn't my preferred option) with very little cohesion between the event itself and the film. The Red Shoes was superb but the fact I had spent a lot of dosh on my outfit which remained concealed by my coat due to the arctic temperatures did little to raise my enthusiasm. I'm going to skip April's and catch them up in May.


It was lovely to see some old friends/family in the past 8 weeks, makes me realise I want to make more time to do that. Just as well because I have a few more visitors and visits already booked.


So after a brief filling in on what I've been doing, what's been filling my head?


There's been teething troubles with the move, general nuisances, annoyances, grievances and the aforementioned sadness opened up grumbles but to be honest after the terrible tragedies in Japan and the devastation its people are enduring it feels so very wrong to moan and complain about anything so I won't.


As I've been away a while I don't want to come back and leave you in gloom so I will lighten the mood a little.


I've decided that I will be having an ad watch section in every subsequent blog given there are so many that attract my attention.  for varying reasons. I sometimes think an ad is sheer brilliance but not doing its job as I can't remember what they're selling! I shall start it off with the following to ease us in:


That bloke who used to be on Eastenders (yes, I know that doesn't narrow it down much) who's trying to get you to claim insurance, he says that you could accept it as fate or say "I absolutely did not deserve that". Hmm I can't help think that I'd probably be swearing like a mad man rather than any zen like calm. 


You are what you eat ad for sweetcorn is a golden oldie but hang on, let's take a closer look. Apparently if you eat French fries you'll be French and runner beans you'll be a runner. Surely it follows then that if you eat Green Giant sweetcorn you'll be green? 


Finally before I sign off. If I adopt a puppy it will write to me. How? It's not like it's a cat with thumbs is it?


Miaow.

The sky's the limit

Forget sexism in football for a minute, something far more urgent caught my eye. A pilot was too drunk to fly a passenger plane. Apparently he was more than four times the legal alcohol limit for pilots. Now it's not actually the fact he was four times over(four times though, my God!) that bothers me it's the fact there is a "legal limit" in place at all. I don't recall ever hearing a pilot slur his words but there have been a few of them who on recollection I thought were trying their hand at comedy. Maybe they were a bit merry? Are some of them secretly swigging the minatures over the white cliffs of Dover? Are some helping themselves to the free flowing booze on long-haul somewhere over the Atlantic?
Passengers are often thrown off (not mid-air of course) for getting drunk on flights but the bloody pilot?
He was also over the legal driving limit. I wonder if he drove himself to the airport?
He's been jailed for 6 months by the way. I reckon a drunk driver would get less. When you think about it both are absolutely abhorrent and yet one is penalized more than the other. 

Speaking of sky & penalties I'll go back to the nonsense that occurred with Richard Keys and Andy Gray at the weekend. A recording was leaked of the two Sky Sports commentators making sexist remarks about a female linesman (er, lineswoman/person?)Oh she was the assistant referee wasn't she? Anyway sorry for being glib but I just laughed when I heard the pair of daft tits (or for the purposes of this perhaps testicles would be more fitting). It just embarrassed them and showed them up being misogynistic at work. What woman hasn't encountered that? Their work just happens to be a male dominated sport that doesn't usually have women on the pitch. It was only a matter of time of course but I can imagine there were hundreds of men watching Liverpool v Wolves saying exactly the same thing. No it is not acceptable but it goes on every single day for so many. Mostly behind closed doors or in the pub (ha ha I am now stereotyping gentlemen to be drinkers).
Lest we forget women are sexist too. 
I recall a girl at a place I worked once pinching the behind of our (very handsome) post guy and he reported her. I wanted to shake his hand. The majority of people couldn't believe he had taken it to that stage but why shouldn't he? We encourage women to do that don't we? It's a two way street. Both sexes objectify (just switch on ITV at 12.30 weekdays to see women do rather a lot of it) but men seem to take the heat for it more. I don't think I would have sacked them. An apology and then community service of washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning...  I jest of course, what I'd really like to know is who is drawing the line and indeed, where is it?
Is is not acceptable depending on your status/celebrity? (P.M, TV personality etc.)
Is it accpetable to think it but not say it out loud?
Is it ok to say it out loud but but not overheard?
Is it ok to be overheard as long as you're not recorded?
Who is leaking these "private" conversations?
Given the stuff I say "off the record" it makes me want to turn to elective mutism. A lot of people would welcome that.

30 days to go until I move. I'm so excited.I went to Ikea with Tracy last week and bought new bedding, crockery, cutlery and glasses for my new place. It's quite strange buying stuff that I used to have. It's like every time I do I start a new chapter so it's quite therapeutic even if expensive.
We spent ages sitting at tables and trying out chairs. Looked at shelves too but realised as I lay awake last night that there isn't room to actually build these flat pack things once I get them in! Picked a sofa bed so people can stay. Not sure it will open out though as it really is a small place. On my way to Tracy's I went down a certain road and saw 3 interesting shop names all in the space of two blocks.
The bravely named Sweat Shop was as you may expect selling fitness attire not full of under paid or under aged workers.
Chompoo Thai restaurant proprietors obviously hadn't bothered to look into the meaning of their name to English speakers. It's certainly not selling the idea of eating there to me!
Finally the Master Chef cafe that looked anything but. Roux Jr. probably (most definitely didn't) ever start his career there.
(Apologies to any of these places that may discover I have ridiculed them).

Time to mention Bikram Yoga. I went tonight (my 14th out of 23) after work and it was my favourite class so far. The heater was fixed last week so the heat has become unbearable the past few days. Yesterday for example when I was upside down I saw the woman behind me (now sort of in front of me) was wearing a 'watch' with the temperature clearly showing a dizzy, panic inducing 111 degrees. I was so close to giving up. I wanted to run to the windows and make a break for it. Tonight was great though. There had been no class since 10.15 so the room hadn't had chance to fire up quite the same.
The characters there are still disctracting me for various reasons. I had the misfortune to be next to a proper panter, grunter snot beast last week. He was grossing me out. I made a mental note to avoid him in future. Someone's toes touched my mat in one class and I yanked it away as quickly as possible. Not very serene I know but ugh! There is one woman who is in a lot of my classes no matter when I go. She turns up in full workout clothes, always stands at the back of the room in the same spot and peels off a layer every so often. First the sweat pants come off (such an apt name), then the zipped long-sleeved top, then the shorts that I saw her wring out over herself (I know that's disgusting right?) which leaves her working out in a low cut swimsuit. The girl needs a wax that's all I'm saying.
There's a notice saying if you're lucky enough to sweat a lot and detoxify, please use 2 or 3 mats so the carpet doesn't get damaged. This woman is doing yoga in a puddle people. A puddle of her own sweat on her own mat. Her own very thin, single mat. Not 2 or 3. That wouldn't be enough anyway. The thing is she also decides to ignore the teacher and goes at her own pace so when we've all done our sit up with exhales as one unit, she's not even started so you hear her seconds later. I am still practicing yoga with a poker face but things like that upset my equilibrium and poker face is exactly what I want to do to her (sic)...

The Joys of Teen Sex... er am I getting old or does my prudish know no bounds? What in God's name is going on? There was no such thing on TV when I was a teenager it was a case of learning on the job as it were. I saw the trailers for it and decided that as I am not a teenager, I do not have teenagers and don't have sex with teenagers (well... that's another story for another blog) there's nothing in that show for me. But one could argue that I am not a fat gypsy, haven't got any fat gyspy friends and won't be attending a fat gypsy wedding anytime soon but I still saw the most frightening 5 minutes of television when accidentally stumbling upon that show this week.
My Holy Communion dress was much more conservative that the frock shocks these girls were wearing. It wasn't just the horrfic outfits that had me jaw dropped but the insane confidence of these children coupled with the most provocative dancing since Rihanna & Christina's X-rated X Factor appearances. These kids were gyrating and doing a squat thrust move that wouldn't have looked out of place on the Joys of Teen Sex quite frankly.

The 10 o' Clock show was better than the critics said in my opinion. I don't think it's the greatest idea for a news show and think it will struggle in longevity. My favourite bit was an interview with Bjorn Lomborg conducted by Jimmy Carr. He said "you put the mental in environmentalist" to which Bjorn replied that no he actually "put the sensible in environmentalist". In closing he addressed the audience with another over the head remark: "I'm sure we all agree we'd love to see Bjorn again. Ha!

Enjoyed The Social Network but (don't hate me) I really didn't like Black Swan at all. Saw another film I can't dicsuss but when I can, I will (along with the other one I mentioned a few weeks back). Other than that I have had a busy week writing more on my script and am fired up about book ideas that have been coming. Let's hope more people read it than this eh?

Finally some light relief... this is doing the rounds so you may already have seen it. Go to Google Maps and "get directions" from USA to China. Check out point 31. I'm thinking of doing it - beats taking a plane...

Over & under offers

I know it's been a while but at least that means you're guaranteed more than yoga news. Might as well start with that though eh?
I have so far been 9 times out of 14. I have unleashed aforementioned manoeuvre. I have smiled at Adonis but haven't been going to many of the same classes so I arrive as he's leaving. There's another eye candy to replace him that almost made me topple over today when I should have been concentrating on my one tree balance.
I was telling my Dad about Bikram yoga and I don't think he quite understood the concept as he said in all seriousness "do you have a sauna afterwards?"
One Sunday I got there half an hour early and stupidly lay in the Savasana (corpse pose) for that time before class. Two hours in 100 degree heat, am I insane? I suffered that day; it was too hard.
I'm doing ok at it though and do miss it when I skip it. It's like most exercise I hate it while I'm there but feel great afterwards. I have been going to the gym as well. In fact yesterday I did an hour there and then straight to yoga afterwards. Before you think I must be shrinking away, I am not. That disappearing weight reappeared. I am not detoxing either but I still haven't smoked nor have I wanted to.
I ran for a bus the other day and wasn't the slightest bit out of breath. I cannot remember the last time I could do that.

Remember my wellbeing list? Clearly posture and meditation are in the yoga routine. The food diary isn't going well. Not well at all. I keep forgetting to fill it in. I am drinking water but   not enough. The fruit & veg mission isn't going too badly. Same goes for the fresh air/daylight intake.
That leaves sleep - I am finally sleeping better and getting to bed earlier on some nights. It's the first time in 22 months. I still wake up after an hour and continue to do so but I feel it's a better quality of sleep. I tried an experiment one night that failed miserably. The iPhone* has an app for monitoring sleep. You set it and put it by your pillow and it tells you in the morning how you slept. It recorded my deep sleep and was supposed to work out the best time to wake me up. However, it said that I had slept for 9.22 hours and according to it, I hadn't been to the toilet 3 times because I was in such a deep sleep. I felt more groggy from that night than any other.

*I bought an iPhone to replace mine that as I write is sat next to me not wanting to switch off or perform any task. It has no network service for half the day and is slowly driving me mad. Maybe mine getting stolen was a sign. There's a bit more about the thief later on...

My friend Mark came to my aid to help me get my car back on the road to get it off my road. He came to look at it, wrote & placed an ad for it, found a battery for it and even fitted it. I cleaned it, valeted it (yes it needed both), put air in its tyres, photographed it and drove it. Ahhh I had forgotten how great it was to drive. I had also forgotten how angry other drivers make me. Saturday the car came in handy for flat viewing being a very blustery Saturday. The first one I saw made me reconsider getting rid of it as it was quite a trek up a hill to the property and nowhere near a tube or Overground station. I'm moving in next month! Oh my God I am in love with it. It is teeny but so amazing. It's on a private estate steeped in history and has the most astounding views of London. No more looking at To Let ads that should read Toilet. While I am talking about ads, good grief Gumtree is full of scammers who want around £600 before you view "their" flat via Western Union. Unbelievable. Surely people don't fall for that crap do they??

My ad faired better. The car sold to the first viewer after a bidding war ensued and I got £150 more than I asked for it. Result.
Blue Monday was one of the happiest days for me as I took the cash from the car sale to put down as deposit on my flat. It was only dampened by the news that when my phone was nicked in December the thief ran up bills to Romania of £90 in one day and I had to pay for them. I feel like ringing the number on my bill and telling them to tell their friend I said they're a robbing *******!

As part of the culture diary there was a visit to the cinema to see The King's Speech - excellent. A new pastime has been started also. I went to the taping of "That Sunday Night Show" (ITV - Frank Skinner saved it), "It's Your Round" (Radio 4) and tomorrow am off to "10 o' Clock Live" (Channel 4). It's a money saving way to spend an evening and it's incorporating comedy so getting a giggle too.

Nice link to my comedy. I had a meeting about my TV series and that went well - looks like we may be filming our own pilot and pitching it to companies as someone else was very interested in getting involved in my project. I haven't had time to write much but will when I move and get settled.
Nice link to writing. Sent my chapter notes to the publisher today for the novel so there's a lot to of work to do there as well. It's a good job I have the most magnificent flat to write in that even Dickens visited frequently.

No link there but thought I'd end with a recommendation. I went to a lovely vegetarian restaurant in Soho last week - Mildreds. There was a wait but it was worth it. I didn't notice the old pornographic photos on the wall until we were half way through eating. On closer inspection, some of them were too...

No mat today Saturday

Last night I got drunk. It was quite by accident but as a result I decided that it would be a bad idea to attempt the yoga in heat (or is that on heat? see below) so will go tomorrow instead. I have practised a tricky manoeuvre in the privacy of my room and will unleash that now I feel confident I can actually do it.  I had decided before the booze fuelled evening to scrap the 30 consecutive days idea by the way because I want to keep up my gym visits too and there's no way I can do both. Oooh but weirdly the excess weight that appeared over night - it disappeared over night! Yesterday there it was but today it vanished! Hurrah!
So, where was I? Sweating my ass off I believe... I went to Bikram Yoga again Thursday morning and there wasn't much room to place my mat. I found a little space and then guess what, Adonis in lycra pants arrived and put his mat next to mine. Luckily (?) a latecomer squeezed herself between the two of us and I was spared his buttocks in my face.

He's a gentleman; he held the door open for me as we left.
The next morning he again pitched up next to me close enough that no-one else could fit. I ended up moving mine forward a little before the Asana that would have me facing his behind.
We almost spoke as we sat side by side putting our shoes on but all I could think was how red, sweaty and hideous I looked. Maybe next time I will smile.

I embarked on the chore of flat viewing yesterday. Good god it should be a punishable crime to live in such grime. Some people have absolutely no shame. If I owned a property that wasn't being maintained I'd be furious. The first one was a lovely house on a lovely street but inside it was the pits. There was no sofa just foam blocks on a wooden slat. It was in an appalling state of filth and way overpriced. I told the agent to tell the landlord exactly that as I left.
The second was very quiet but not close to any local amenities - apart from bars. Lots of bars in fact. It backed on to Holloway Prison. That possibly makes it one of the safest neighbourhoods but it was awful. There were no redeeming factors and again over priced.
The 3rd I was quite excited about and still am because it's in the heart of Camden with one and a half bedrooms. It didn't disappoint. Well no that's a lie, it did disappoint HUGELY but the potential was there. The current tenants are obviously pigs and the sofa (at least there was one) needs to be set alight and thrown out. Size wise it was perfect but the bathroom left a lot to be desired. It turns out the agent has 2 more identical so am viewing those next week because if the bathrooms are better in either I think I may have found me a new gaff. The second bedroom that the agent told me not to get excited by, I got excited by. It's not a second bedroom (single sized) but *drum roll* an office. It would mean that my writing would have its own place to be created and that is invaluable so the astronomical cost would be worth it. Fingers crossed for that or at least my interlocked yoga fingers.

We're 8 days into the new year & it's been pretty productive so far. I know I need to save money for the flat but this weekend I managed to save £30 in Boots (on a 3 for 2 and £5 off combo) so with a Christmas gift voucher I got £75 worth of products for £44. I also saved £32 in the sale on fitness gear. Insert smug expression.
Having not smoked for a week I reckon that's a further £20 saved.
Slowly but surely I am working my way through a list of things to do that are essential and pretty big but I have been generously aided by friends. With their help I have either in part or in full solved deposit problem, computer issues, iPhone dilemma, flat decisions and car troubles. I am so grateful & thank them whole-heartedly.

When I move I will have to persuade those mates and more to visit me and stay in so that I am not giving extortionate amounts to the local pub as I did for the past 12 months. The fact that my rent will become the price of a holiday PER WEEK is insane enough but you can't put a price on the wanted & much needed solidarity of my own space.

2011 will have to be the year of budgeting, saving, cash back deals, Orange Wednesdays, 2 for 1, buy one get one free, kgb deals, groupon and Quidco. Hmmm, it's also the year of the rabbit. Given that's cockney rhyming slang for talk, I think I'll be ok...

Orange Wednesday

Just thought I'd mention that I survived day one of the Bikram Yoga. I had a banana for sustinence before I went and it kept me on an even keel. I didn't wobble too much or fall over nor did I faint. In fact I quite liked the heat. I have a feeling I won't be able to move in the morning.

The room stank - mixture of sweat and heat - disgusting. I am so glad I have my own mat given the amount of drops I could see falling from many yoga goers. People don't wear much in these classes. It's like being on the beach but without the sea, even the carpet was sand in colour. The woman to the front/left of me was so supple and bendy and I envy her ability and her svelte frame. I want her body. Er,. no actually what I obviously mean is I would like mine to look like hers.
FYI: The woman to my right had the most ample bosom and if I were many of my male friends I doubt I'd have been able to concentrate. They were quite distracting. I tried not to look but as I couldn't see myself in the mirror and the teacher told us to focus on something, it was hard not to focus on her heaving bust!
By the way, is it wrong that I gave a sharp intake of breath not from lack of oxygen but from the entrance of an Adonis in tight lyrca pants? Good god, I am glad he wasn't in front of me as I don't think I could have handled that view. I am quite sure that this is NOT the place to pull so I should get those thoughts out of my head right now. I wonder if he's there tomorrow...?

Recycled the Christmas tree - is it bad luck to do that before 12th Night? I took its baubles and lights off on Sunday...

I wanted to go to the cinema tonight but it seems Somewhere is nowhere to be found. It left my local cinemas last week and didn't fancy any of the other offerings. Speaking of orange (which I sort of was) I bought a pineapple today. A bit like the missing film, there were no oranges in the supermarket I went to. Just clementines, I actually wanted satsumas but I ended up with aforementioned pineapple, bananas, kiwi fruits & blueberries. Didn't stop me eating a bar (albeit small) of plain chocolate.
I wanted serotonin release to cheer myself up from the weight gain the scales told me about this morning.
Yes I know, weight talk is boring.
Last year I managed to put on half a stone on a 3 week trip to South America that I never shifted. In the last 3 weeks I gained a further 4 so I'm on a mission. Maybe I need to eat all the unhealthy things and drink all the booze in the flat as temptation versus willpower in January is very difficult.
I always have a theory and repeat it every year. Repeat in words that is, not in practice: "I will lose weight in the summer when it's all salads and fruit". Of course it's also the long evenings down the pub with wine, pimms and cocktails. Then comes winter where I tell myself "I shall lose the summer weight with my homemade soups and detox plan." The plan usually ends up being fuelling my cold body. If I get a cold I feed the cold (as oppose to starving the fever that sod's law doesn't allow me to catch).

I don't diet. I don't believe in diets so it will be a laborious task of calorie counting, watching fat content (in my food in case you started going off on some kind of weird tangent), less booze, eating celery and drinking nettle tea. Plus exercise of course. This may require me digging out photos of celebrities in bikinis that I can pin to the fridge. Failing that I could always just take a photo of that woman at Bikram yoga...

Delete this at your peril.

It's freezing! I won't be freezing tomorrow when I start my first Bikram Yoga class in 100 degree (F) heat. I hope I don't faint.
I went to the gym today to flex myself a bit - also hope I don't ache for the first lesson. (Still no smoking and can't say I've missed one yet).This is what I need for class:
To wear: vest/cropped top and shorts or snug fitting yoga pants - check.
Yoga mat - check.
A bottle of water - well, I have a small empty bottle at the moment but think I may need to buy a bigger one en route - not check.
No need for footwear.

It says to take 2 bath towels, 1 for practising on and 1 for showering but I have my own mat and live 2 minutes away. I bet I take at least one anyway to show that I have read my instructions.

Culture 2011 is off to a fine start.
Yesterday I watched a great film that I suspect I cannot yet tell you about. When I can I will. It was amazing...

Last night I went to the Winter Wonderland and immediately regretted not using my preferred search engine to look it up as I would have taken my camera. We watched the Cirque d'Hiver which was quite dark. The most impressive parts were the trapeze type acrobat and the Wheel of Death.
For next year I can recommend the Jamie Oliver food area. I had the most delectable Salt Beef, mustard mayo and rocket bun and it came with a mulled wine. The plastic cutlery looked real. It even looked more authentic than his 30 minute recipes on closer inspection.

I decided to go back again tonight as it was the final night armed with my camera. Me, my friend and her Mum went on the Ghost Train and laughed at how bad it was. The "fun house" was more scary as we witnessed a poor girl stuck in between a maze of mirrors. She was visible to us and we could see her crying her eyes out the poor thing. Of course it was ever so slightly amusing but so traumatising for her.

If you do pay a visit this December be sure to take "real money" with you. Some stall vendors were none too impressed with coins and insisted on notes but were not prepared to lower their prices for the favour. Oh actually, I did get a pound off an item; I bartered while waving some "real money" his way.

Right, I'm off to bed because I am too cold to stay up and I want to read some more of my borrowed from Vicki book... Delete This At Your Peril - hilarious!

Hmmm do you think I should take some measurements before I embark on the 30 consecutive days of yoga?